Mada mada dane

Yes...it's going to be about dance...again :-p I know, I'm horribly incorrigible when it comes to this topic. One of the things I've grown to appreciate and have wanted to really get better at is learning how to have a conversation in West Coast Swing where I'm not just always listening, but I'm beginning to actually voice my thoughts/opinions.

As some of you may know I am quite the talker and it kills me to not have a voice. I have happily spent most of the year just listening to the leaders, following through on the basics and making sure I don't screw the guy up by doing what he expects of me. ...hmm...I'm also not really a submissive individual. When I began to really understand what "holding a conversation" means I began to wish I could participate in it. Slowly, ever so slowly, I've begun to come a little bit out of my "time-out" session where I'm just listening and have begun to really contribute to the dance! Last night was so much fun for me because I did something...and guys actually followed me!!! :-D It was the most amazing experience! I wasn't hi-jacking or not following through, however, I was able to change the timing of the dance and guys actually followed my timing! It was amazing...There are times when guys would just keep dancing through like the tempo of the music didn't change...I actually...slowed myself down...and they were paying attention so they slowed down too!

I can't even begin to express the excitement I had when that occurred. I also came up with some interesting moves last night. Not quite sure where they came from...all I know is, I let myself go and I ran with it. I am so happy today because I feel that I was able to express myself the way I've wanted to in a long while. I also did some interesting things with my spins...who'd have ever though I could do anything interesting with my spins? :-D

I am hoping that last night was the first step to no longer having a one-sided conversation where I am just always listening and instead I'm actually participating in one between me, the music, and my partner.

I decided to take a look at the 50 states and see what other "rapper" or "music" group stage names I could come up with. Of course some states are easier then others. If you have suggestions...please feel free ;-)

1. Ala-Bam-It
2. Al-Ask-A
3. Ari-Zon-A
4. Ark-An-Sas
5. Cali-Forn-I-A
6. Color-A-Do
7. Connect-I-Cut
8. Del-Aware
9. Flo-Rida (the inspiration)
10. George-I-A
11. Ha-Wa-I-I
12. Ida-Ho
13. Ill-I-Nois
14. In-Diana
15. I-Owe-Ya
16. Kan-Sas
17. Ken-Tucky
18. Louis-I-Ana
19. Ma-Ine
20. Mary-Land
21. Master-Chusetts
22. Michi-Gan
23. Minnie-So
24. Mississ-I-P-pi
25. Mis-Sour-I
26. Mont-Ana
27. Ne-Bra-Ska
28. Nev-Ada
29. New-Hamp-Shire
30. New-Jerks
31. New-Mex
32. New-Yorkie
33. North-Carol-Ina
34. North-Dak-Ota
35. O-Hi-O
36. OK-La-Homa
37. Ore-Gon
38. Pennsy-lVania
39. Rhode-Is-Land
40. South-Carol-Ina
41. South-Dak-Ota
42. Tennes-See
43. Tex-As
44. U-Tah
45. Verm-Ont
46. Virg-Inia
47. Wash-I-Ton
48. West-Virgin
49. Wis-Cousin
50. Wy-OMG

I have decided that I want to move to the Vineyard when I retire. The atmosphere here is very relaxing and laid back. The first day was loads of fun! We grabbed some sandwiches, went to the beach, got ice cream (I got gelato), bought sone groceries to make cook out food, then later went to a bakery called, "the backdoor bakery" where Darrell bought us all freshly baked cinnamon buns! They were so yummy, they are my crack. Seriously, they were that good!!! Those things pretty much conclude day 1

As for day 2, some of us woke up really early and went to go watch the sunrise and tale some pictures. Then we went into Vineyard Haven and went to a wonderful bagel store where I got an egg and cheese onion bagel. From there we took a stroll down the street and went our separate ways. I bought a few books, "Tribute", "Royal Affairs", and a salad cookbook which I had the author sign! I also got a very flashy little ring. :-D

We went to a deli, go some sandwiches, went to the beach, and now we are on our way to the grocery store to put together a picnic basket so we can find a spot on a beach to watch the fireworks tonight. Pictures to come!

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So...as dance centric as my journal has become... ;-) Liberty was wonderful! I found it to be very well run, on time, and the hotel was great! I was surprised at how well we were treated! Not that we are typically treated poorly by the hotel at events, however, they had a free pizza party on Friday, free ice cream on Saturday... :-) There was always fruit around, apples or bananas...it was wonderful!

The part that I found most interesting is that all the scoring for the competitions were electronic so they were able to run semi-finals and finals for Newcomer (the division I'm in) within the same day! I didn't like it at first, however, I found in the end that it worked out so much better as it allowed me the freedom to stay up so much later on Saturday night so I could dance socially! I also had the best time dancing socially and I met some great dancers!

I am also happy to announce, I somehow managed to win 3rd place in the Newcomer Jack and Jill...after reading the Swing Dance Council rules, it appears that I will receive 3 points... :-D This is very exciting for me, however, I think this means I still have to remain in Newcomer. I was reading the rules for the upcoming event, Boston Dance Challenge, and it appears that I am still in Newcomer if I have 0-4 points...and I currently have 4. :-/ Oh well...it's probably better this way as I'm not sure I am ready for Novice as of yet. :-) There are so many amazing people in that division!

Anyhow, I'm very much looking forward to the Boston Dance Challenge!

First night in New Jersey isn't too horrible. I put orthodics in my dance sneakers and they worked beautifully! I was able to dance until almost 3:30am. :-) I must admit, I am terribly exhausted though.

Made it to NJ in fairly good time, about 4.5 hours. I had a private with Erica Berg, which was nice as well...ok so I'm feeling kind of spotty right now so it is definitely time for me to sign off. :-P

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So...I've been wanting to play golf for awhile, however, I never had anyone who wanted to go out and do it with me. Finally, I found some people at work who go and enjoy golfing. So I asked if I could go with them...they asked me if I had ever played and I promptly explained in my exuberant and matter-of-fact way that I am indeed, very good at mini-golf. They laughed and explained real golf was very different. :-/ I couldn't help but protest and defend my excellent mini-golf experience. :-p

Anyhow, they informed me that they would not play golf with me until I had a chance to go to the driving range and practice. I begrudgingly agreed, I mean really, I had already explained to them how I excel in mini-golf, what more did they want? So we set a date and went to the Stonemeadow Golf course in Lexington this past Monday. Prior to leaving Chris mentioned, "I can see you hitting the ball sideways"...ridiculous right? Yeah...not so much... :-/

So Dan and I picked up a "Large" bucket of balls and set off to the uh *at a loss of what to call it*...mat. I learned...golf is hard. lol...Yeah, I know...and prior to going I had also used Youtube (my bible/encyclopedia of knowledge) to see how I should properly swing a golf club, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMtQjnsoD8c. I could be the female version of Tiger Woods...I'm half Asian and black ;-)

Anyways, I didn't do terribly. I consistently hit the ball 50-75 yards...so not horrible, but not spectacular. I had such a great time, though I fear my happiness and joyful peals of laughter would not be appreciated on the golf course...however, when I do poorly at things, I can't help but laugh at myself. I missed the ball at least 40% of the time...and I did in fact manage to hit the ball in a way that it did go sideways and hit myself in the knee with the golf ball, it was excellent. To add insult to injury the knee that was hit was the same leg that I have my tendonitis on...lol...

Because I had such a wonderful time I went again yesterday. :-D I used a 8 and 5 iron *muffles, "steel"*...and in true form I managed to miss the ball completely and somehow bring the club back, hit it backwards and hit the clubs belonging to a gentleman on my right...oops. :-/ I also managed to hit the ball 5 feet from where I was standing...a guy two mats down from me glanced at it...I said, "Oops...", he looked at me, and I couldn't help but laugh...

All in all it's a great time! I'm going again on Thursday!

This is an entry simply meant to inform and help me work through issues that I am having.

Many who know me and understand my quirks and habits have recognized that I am very much an "A-Type" personality. I am an impatient individual, I demand a great deal out of myself and yes, I expect myself to do things perfectly. I particularly feel that way of things that I am truly passionate about. This means that when I work, when I write, when I dance I expect a level and air of confidence and competence from myself. When I lack those things I can't help but feel frustrated with myself. The reason I mention this is because one of the horrible faults (or perks) that I have had is my intuitiveness of situations. No matter what I have ever done in my life, if I truly cared those things came easily to me, whether it is studying, learning a language, anything scholastic...it has come easily. I have always done this very quickly and with ease. The downside to that is my learning curve is abnormally high. I have also always been highly sensitive of myself and others around me. So with dancing this is great because I can always feel what I am doing wrong...scratch that...when I first started I did not have a clue what to feel for. Through the months of me learning, dancing with many different people, and taking privates I have began to understand the techniques of the dance and more importantly I have figured out where I want to be and how I want to dance. Through these learnings and my sensitivity for others, I have begun to understand how different people feel and how they connect to me. I also realize when my connection is changing as well as when others connections change.

Anyhow, onto the actual reason for my posting (yes, I was going somewhere with the prior information) I hate my dance. I really do. I hate how I dance. I hate how I feel when I dance. Ok, perhaps "hate" is a very strong word...however; it comes back to my awareness of myself. It all goes back to what I know now and how I know I should be moving and feeling...and how I should be connecting with the person that I dance with. I love dancing...I love West Coast Swing...I love watching it, my heart races and is filled with joy when I watch an amazing dance and connection between two individuals. I feel happiness and jubilation for those two individuals because I can tell by the way they move and the way they look at one another that they are having a wonderful time. However, when I dance I feel overwhelmed with all my faults and I feel a certain level of misery because I can't help but feel I am just not good enough to be dancing with the person that I am dancing with. And this goes back to my need to be perfect...to feel perfect. I know...logically it just isn't possible at this point it time. It will take me years and years until I feel slightly good about my dance...however...one of the things that teachers and dancers alike talk about is the ups and downs of dancing. You go up while you are improving; you plateau for a bit when you find your ground, then you go down again when you realize the things you need to work on. That is a normal situation and scenario...my problem is my learning curve. As I said, it is abnormally high; I have been dancing for almost 8 months I have yet to reach the plateau...and to be honest I don't even feel like I'm going uphill in the least, I just feel like I've been going downhill. There is yet to be a point in my dancing where I feel, "oh, ok I get it. I feel like I'm getting better." I tell some people this and they tell me, "oh you are such a great dancer"...I laugh and tell them, "I'm really not." And I never think I am and I have yet to feel that I am good or am understanding something yet.

On a positive note because my learning curve is so high I have a much bigger picture of the things that I need to work on and I have also started working on a plan so I can start getting to the point where I feel like I'm going uphill and improving my dance! To be honest, I'm actually pretty excited and am looking forward to the challenge. All I can really do is try my best to not feel overwhelmed by what I know and try to break things down and compartmentalize everything a bit more so I can take things one step at a time.

So this was my first time to the Boston Tea Party ("BTP"). As some of you may know I have a new obsession with west Coast Swing dancing. It has to be one of the more addictive dances I've ever done, more so than Line and I've done Line Dancing for almost 11 years now!

The event was such a great time! I danced until the wee hours of the morning (around 5-6AM) the bad part about doing that is you are just so exhausted the next day since you don't get to sleep very long!

The way that West Coast Swing dance events are typically run is that competition for people in my division (Newcomer) for a Jack and Jill (this is a format of competition in partner dancing, where the competing couples are the result of random matching of leaders and followers. Rules of matching vary.) compete in the afternoon somehwere around 2 or 3PM. In my division there were 64 followers (female) and 42 leaders (male). So you might be wondering, how are you going to pair an uneven amount of followers and leaders? Well, the competition is run in heats, heats are basically a group of couples. So the first heat had 32 couples, the second heat had 32 couples. Because the division was so inundated with followers we were called back for semifinals. This means that the original groups were cut, so during semifinals there were 31 followers and 31 leaders (meaning that 33 girls were cut and 11 guys were cut). Unfortunately, there was a bit of a snafu and the semifinals, which was meant to cut the group of followers and leaders again, did not occur. So the next day, Sunday, finals were run at around 3PM. I am happy to say that I did make it into finals, so I got to dance another day!

One of the best parts of BTP is the competitions I got to see with the Lindy Hoppers. I don't particularly care for events that have hours and hours of competition at a time, however, if they are split apart nicely (like BTP was) then I really enjoy being able to watch other styles of dance! The Lindy hoppers are truly amazing! They have so much energy...if I had to dance more than 2 songs in a row, I'm pretty sure I'd just fall over from exhaustion. I am however very interested in learning this style of dance!

I am sad to say that I made 15th out of 31. However...I'm also happy because technically speaking in terms of percentages I did better than the last time I made it into finals :-) I am also happy because one of the judges placed me in 3rd out of 31, whereas three months ago the same judge placed me in 8th out of 13! Oh yes...and in terms of judging, for preliminaries and semifinals the judges will judge each person individually, so even if you are dancing with someone you are not judged the same as them, you are judged for your own individual style of dancing. Also, in the prelims and semis you dance around 3-5 songs, each song with a different person. During the prelims and semis the judges will just check "Yes" or "No" on whether you should move on to the next round. In the finals, that's a different story. The person you end up being paired with will be your partner for the next 3-5 songs, so at this point you are judged as a couple.

Anyhow, I met many new people, which is always fun and exciting for me and I had MANY great dances! I had the best time in the competitions as well, the person I got first for both the prelims and semis put me in such a good mood for the rest of the competition! I can't wait until the next event which is May 1-3 and it is Swingin Into Spring! I just can't wait!

The only bad part of the weekend is the last dance I did on Sunday I pulled my hip flexor... :-( So unfortunately I have to take it easy and not go too nuts! On a happy note I lost 4lbs this weekend...hahaha

So...David and I are in the process of purchasing our first condo together. It is very exciting, however, also scary and expensive. The place is 1600 square feet, 2 car garage, 3 story townhome, 2 bedrooms, and 1.5 baths. Here are pictures:



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Journals are an interesting thing...when I first started this journal, about 7 years ago, I started it because I had so much to write about at first...at least more on the intellectual and philosophical side. Since I left college my entries have been fewer and fewer...and it isn't because nothing is going on in my life, and it isn't because I have nothing to say. Those who know me in real life know that I am quite the talker and my opinions are broad and plentiful. It is more because I do not find the things I have to write as interesting as I once did. When I was in college my entries were more involved around schooling, or problems I was having with my boyfriend at the time...or it was just purely sexual all together.

As cliche, or apparent as this may sound, I'm really not the same person. I am the same in most ways, however, things that I used to talk about used to be much more scholarly in nature, now not so much. My life so far has consisted around few base things, work, dancing, the wedding, learning Japanese, and the gym.

There are many little things that occur and honestly I wish I could write about those things at the times I think of them as I find my observations to be pretty amusing...

Sometimes I wonder why I keep this journal open anymore, however, I can't bear to part with it...as little as I have written over the past few years there are still important parts of my life, such as stories, poems, photos, or things that I have written in here. The thing is, I don't want to just keep this journal open to retain those things, I also desperately want, no desperately need to write more. I internalize so many aspects of myself, my life, and my feelings because I am either too shy or am unable to express myself in a way that I feel is appropriate that I'm sure that I will eventually go mad with the need to write it or share it.

I am going to attempt to write at least once a week and allow myself to let go, externalize my thoughts and emotions, and more importantly really give myself some time to self reflect. I used to do that so much more when I had more time, now my mind just races from one thing to the next, never taking the time to slow my life down a little and really think about what I'm doing, where I'm going, and more importantly if it is something that I should or need to be doing.

Incredients:
1 can of Chick peas
1 large Potato
1 large Onion
4 green chilies
1/2 stack of Cilantro
Garlic and Ginger
Chana masala powder

Steps:
1. Cut potatoes, add it to the chick peas and cook it well.
2. Cut onions, tomatoes, green chillies, garlic and ginger and grind them together. [keep some cut onions and tomato aside]
3. Fry the remaining onions well
4. Add the ground paste from step 2, chana masala (3-4tbsp) and salt and tomatoes and cook for a few minutes
5. Add the cooked chana and potatoes and mix
6. Add cilantro at the end and cook for a few minutes.

1. use Wheat unbleached flour
2. In a large bowl, place the flour, two eggs, and one or two spoonful of sugar
3. Use enough flour to make dough to fit roughly in the palm of your hands. I always make more than I need as you can put the dough in the fridge and cut some off when you need.
4. Pour in some water and mix with your hands
5. keep adding olive oil until you have a nice pliable dough, not too sticky not too dry.
6. Cut up dough and roll out japati to what ever size you want
7. In a non stick pan, cook japati on each side until golden brown.
8. Then if you have gas, hold japati with two pairs of tongs and heat over the naked flame... this will puff the japati and give it a wonderful chargrilled taste.

1. 1 can of boiled Chic Peas / or buy some chic peas and boil them
2. 1 can of green peas (optional)
3. 2-3 potatoes – boiled
4. 2 tomatoes – diced
5. 1 onion – diced
6. Tamarind chutney
7. Any other chutney – mango chutney/green chutney/spicy chutney
8. Indian sev for topping

Cut medium pieces of potatoes and place them in a large serving bowl. Add boiled chic peas and green peas to it. Now add oinions and tomatoes. Mix them. Then add about 2-3 teaspoonfuls of the two chutneys (according to taste). Add some salt and lemon juice right before serving (according to taste). Add Indian sev as topping.

So far I have been working on the language for a few days now and I bought a couple of books to help with the writing of the language. I am proficient in reading Romanji...I am going to work on Hiragana and Katakana first then eventually move to learning Kanji because I will need to anyway *^_^*

I have actually found lyrics to one of my favorite Japanese songs that is currently written in Romanji and I am going to translate it into Hiragana. :D

All in all, I am at the stage where I am still excited about the language and I am dangerous enough to write and read it :)

I have been so insanely busy at work that when I get home I am too pooped to do much of anything else than just lounge. David has also been gone for the past week so I've been able to take the time for myself and rearrange my schedule a bit so that when he gets back I can keep this schedule going. I've been going to the gym, going to bed at a decent time (during weekdays anyway), cooking, and cleaning up. :-) Overall it has made me very happy! I've also been making time to study for the GMAT and study the Japanese language. I've gotten to the point where I will sometimes have conversations in my head in Japanese, Korean, and English :-) Now if I could just practice with someone that would rock my world!

I was talking to my cousin, Kim, and I explained to her now sometimes when I think of a sentence it forms in Japanese before forming into English :-) Though honestly, I should really try to work on my Korean. The problem that I always run into when I am learning new languages is that I just can't speak them colloquially, I can only speak them formerly...for example in Korean if I were to say something like, "This person is my friend" I would say, "Na nun ching goo eh yo" versus "Na ching goo" which is less formal. :-p I also want to become more fluent in Korean because when we have children they will be learning both Korean and English at the same time.

I've also been experimenting with baking. I made some white chocolate muffins from scratch a couple of days ago. I made a very small batch to use up the chocolate that we had from Valentine's day. They came out pretty good! Now I just need to think of a good frosting to top them off with. I think another white chocolate frosting would be way too sweet...so something light and airy, with perhaps a fruity flavor would be quite lovely.

Other than this, work has been going well, though insanely busy. I haven't been able to dance as much as I normally do this week because I've been focused on studying and more domestic activities, however I'm happy. My life is feeling more organized and I don't feel like I'm just flopping around. To be honest, this is why I really need a more structured schedule. I start to slowly loathe my existence when I don't feel that I am getting things done. Silly perhaps, however, I really need to feel productive so I don't feel like my life is going nowhere. And I really like to work towards big milestones, such as being fluent in another language. I will be taking my GMAT around the September time frame I think. I will be looking at and applying to colleges for 2010...I guess it depends on where we are with the baby thing :-)

Also...the Skip Beat! anime rocks my world.

Yes! I am now searchable in the Points Registry database at the www.swingdancecouncil.com!

Another dance weekend...I had the best time EVER! :-D I'm sure I'll say that for the next dance weekend...I just had so much fun social dancing.

I decided that I'm done taking group classes, I don't really get very much from them, there are those occasional times when I'll learn a little styling or something but those times are so few and far between. I would much rather do social dancing and take private lessons. My goal is to take 3 privates a month with 3 different instructors. I'm pretty happy with the 6 instructors that I have been taking lessons from so I will be sticking with them. For dance weekends though I will definitely try and schedule a private with one of the instructors from out of state.

Which brings me to my next point, I had a private with an instructor from out of state and it was awesome...but also sucky... :-) I couldn't stop thinking, "Never take a private before a competition", but now that I look back it wasn't that bad of an idea. It gave me something to think about and work on the night before the competition and something to focus on while I was competing.

I had a pretty spectacular time at the event overall! I actually made Finals...which I couldn't believe! The biggest thing for me is that I haven't been dancing much so I don't expect much from my competition, but I just love competing for some reason :-) I did place 10 out of 13 in the finals, I know that isn't so great, but you know I actually don't mind. I still got my 1 point for WSDC (World Swing Dance Council), which means I'm 4 points away from Novice...haha... Besides that it gave me confidence that I am actually improving in my dance. As a matter of fact I plan to practice almost daily :-) I am working on setting up my three privates for this month as well so I am looking forward to that. There is so much to work on, but the most important thing I want to work on right now is connection, body and weight placement, as well as my anchors. Also, working on my comfort level dancing with people I don't know. One of my friends commented, "You have so much personality when we dance together, you need to dance that way with everyone".

Next dance event is MADJam March 5-8, I'm not sure if I'm going to go yet as it is in DC, but I am definitely going to the Boston Tea Party March 26-29! If I go to MadJam, I will most likely not be sleeping over in Danvers for the Tea Party. Yeaaaa!

I was in Seattle for about 10 days. Unfortunately, because of the massive amounts of snow (massive for Seattle) I was unable to see my friends :-( I was only able to see my cousin and my friend caballero. The days sort of ran together, we didn't get to do too much because we were home a great deal of the time due to the weather. I finally got a chance to take David to Palisades :-)

I took a crap load of photos of my niece, all which can be viewed here:

http://s100.photobucket.com/albums/m34/natalie516/Family/Christmas%202008/



I miss my family.

It's not me in it, but here is a picture of my dress! I just bought it at Sposa Atelier in NH, it will be in ivory versus white.




And this is my hair for the wedding:


I am soooo excited!

So silly.