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Quick Post...

Today was a weird day...I've been in a bit of a weird mood...had an interesting conversation with drchase as well as my friend caballero...my patience for dumb ass' has become increasingly shorter as I have gotten older...

I also have no patience for people who only bitch about their situations and they don't do anything about it...and I am not referring to anyone on my journal list, just people in general. So damn irritating...lol...I told caballero I lose a small ounce of respect for people who seek pity constantly, who seem to thrive on it. *shrug* I tend to be a fairly upbeat person myself, however, I've been feeling slightly under the weather which has caused me to be a little more impatient then normal. My remedy? lol...well last night I bought a DVD set and Kingdom Hearts...today I did a little shopping spree to one of my favorite stores, Victoria's Secret :) while of course passing another favorite, Tiffany's. hehe...Do I feel better? A little...does it change how I feel about whiny people? Not really... ugh...I feel like there is something strongly missing, I just haven't quite figured it out yet, but I am sure I will. However, right now...I think I am just very tired...mainly of one thing...however, the little things don't help. So I've weeded a few of the little things out...however, I am still stuck with one thing.

You know...I've seen some people say that their journal does not truly reflect who they are...I guess everyone is different. I write in livejournal to keep memories, sort of like an on-line verbal scrapbook of my thoughts and feelings. In essence about 70% of my journal is me...the other 30% are things that people would have to know me and see me to truly understand. I wonder why some people have journals? To portray something they wished they could be? Or perhaps portray a life they wish they could have? I mean should people really be called "friends" on livejournal? Shouldn't they just be called observers until otherwise proven? To be honest, there is no one on my list that is truly my friends except for a few smattering of people who know me personally. I would have to say about 70% of my entries are public...15% friends only, 5% Erotic story friends only...2% (as of late) is shared ONLY with drchase and the finaly 8% is private for only me.

Sometimes my curiousity drives me near insanity. I don't understand so many things...I don't understand why some people live their life complaining about what they don't have and yet do nothing to better their situation. I don't understand why some people lie about who they are to anyone and everyone...who are they running from and why? I don't understand why people set up random dates on friendsters versus meeting someone in the regular old fashioned way...I don't understand why some have such drive to succeed in life and yet others choose to flop around like a fish out of water? I don't understand people who say they are going to "try" to do something...I don't understand people who say they "can't" do something.

*big sigh* Sometimes...I am like a child...so inquisitive, confused...and naive to the world...other times I am an adult and I feel disgust for people who only complain about their situations and do nothing to help themselves...<-this needs some re-evaluating...

I've always been good at solutions...especially in HS...*remembers, use it for good not evil* Hmm...*thinks of a strategic maneuver as I waltz off to bed*

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
coprolith
Sep. 24th, 2003 09:04 pm (UTC)
I don't understand about 99% of life, and the 1% I do understand deals with math, so that doesn't really count. I've found a certain comfort in my lack of understanding, though. I finally decided that it wasn't my job to understand or fix or tell people what they're doing incorrectly.

I realized that my job is just to care and listen...

-Coprolith-
natalie516
Sep. 25th, 2003 07:54 am (UTC)
haha...I never claimed to understand my life. What I do claim to understand is why I do things the way I do and how I got to where I am :) I don't fix or tell people what they are doing incorrectly, well not exactly anyway. I am a very opinionated person and I have incredibly high standards for myself and for people who are my friends. I have very, very few friends. I know many people, I am cordial to a great deal of people and I am always willing to help or listen to people whenever they need it. However, I do not like to deal with people who consistently bitch and moan. It is sort of like dealing with the idiots who can't drive, if you know what I mean. I understand that sometimes life sucks and you need to complain that's fine, but to do it all the time? *shake head* That creates too much drama. When you read my journal you will see that there are entries where I am having a rough day...but overall my journal is consistently upbeat. Not because I am hiding anything or am not showing my true emotion, but because that is who I truly am. If I have an issue, I do not sit and complain about it for days on end, I reflect and contemplate my options or my points of action. I am very logical and serious in that sense. Many people have a difficult time understanding me, because I am so upbeat people think there is nothing more to me, which is fine, it gives me more of an advantage. I decide my point of action and I do it. I have realized...haha...this is turning into an entry! I will make it one, thanks to you ;)

lol...that is great that you find comfort in not understanding, unfortunately not understanding things drives me a little crazy...(not in the literal sense) I have this stupid and crazy need to understand myself and my surroundings, but that's how I am. :)
coprolith
Sep. 25th, 2003 11:18 am (UTC)
I understand entirely. My friends often ask me if there's anything wrong or anything I need help with, and I tell them not really. They tend to think that I'm just bottling up frustration and annoyance, which isn't healthy, but I'm not. When I come to a point of annoyance or sadness, I think about it rationally, find the root, and deal with it in my mind before it affects my behavior and makes me do something brash that I would regret later.

Sorry if I sounded judgmental in my comment, I didn't mean to make it sound like it was directed at you, I was just spouting off something in general I had realized a while back; I was trying too hard to help people and fix their problems, and I finally just realized that some people don't want that. The only thing I need to do is care and listen, and if someone wants help, they will ask, for the most part.

-Coprolith-
(Deleted comment)
natalie516
Sep. 25th, 2003 08:15 am (UTC)
Why would you be nice to me in the first place, even offer me your phone number

Because I am a nice person.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
only to turn around and pull this?

Pull what? Hmm...just read your entry. You want me to take it up with you personally do you? Fine. Call me. I will IM you my work number
(Deleted comment)
natalie516
Sep. 25th, 2003 03:26 pm (UTC)
Chris, you are incredibly lame. I am not usually so rude to people but if you feel that my opinions of you are wrong or false and are not willing to "talk about it" even though it was your idea. Then fine, delete me from your friends list because you are sort of creepy.

As for my opinions about you set in stone you don't know anything about me. Unlike some people, I am very open-minded and not adverse to change. If you knew anything you could figure that out on your own. It seems pretty obvious, think about it, I moved 3000 miles from my home and my family for a job. I knew absolutely no one out here when I did that, so you can just shut up with your "I'm lonely" shit. I don't care and I don't empathize with you. However, considering that you are pretty "set" thinking I am stupid then

TAKE ME OFF YOUR FRIENDS LIST

natalie516
Sep. 25th, 2003 08:16 am (UTC)
Oh...if you choose not to I will reply to this at a later time
natalie516
Sep. 25th, 2003 09:54 am (UTC)
And if you think I am so stupid, take me off your friends list
natalie516
Sep. 25th, 2003 03:31 pm (UTC)
Just for closure on the subject...
Just because we use our journals for different things?

You use your journal to bitch and moan about how much your life sucks. Poor baby, shut up and fix it, go cry at the other 120 some odd other females on your list.

~~~~~~
You have never even really talked to me, you have no conception of what I'm like. I use my journal to release on things I do not talk about to people in person...

Yeah, hello...you just said that are things you feel and don't tell other people in person. So all you are telling me is that you are too afraid to voice your thoughts and opinions to others in real life, that reflects who you are, how you think. So what if in person you are "happy" or "nice" or whatever? That isn't what you feel. Therefore, all you are telling me is that you are fake in person. That's great, another reason I wouldn't WANT to get to know you
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )