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So you will be surprised...

while I was in the shower I felt something warm (and no I was not peeing) I felt this odd sense of comfort, familiarity, and peacefulness... It was very peculiar...all of a sudden, everything just made sense. My feelings, my thoughts, my direction in life, my love life even. It wasn't so much an epiphanic moment in time, but more of an understanding of my self. I love when I have those :)

I've come to realize what I need to do to reach my goals all of them. I know, unbelievable since the past few months I've been feeling like a sailboat caught in a destructible wind storm. I've always tried to live my life without regret, however sometimes it is difficult. I wish I had been a better girlfriend to Eric, because overall...he was a good guy, well minus the end of course. Then I kind of wonder if those were his true colors. *shrug* However, I had a hard time dealing with the knowledge that I could have been better, but now...it doesn't matter. I would have felt worse if he had been honest and kind when we broke up, but since he wasn't and didn't I feel ok. In terms of my love life at this moment in time? I have a really good feeling about it, now, whether drchase is perfect for me or not is yet to be determined. However, I have come to see that there is time...haha...I know...I'm surprised at myself to be honest, I never thought I would admit to that. For some reason though...I felt that closeness with someone again and it gave me comfort. :)

I know...you guys must be totally shocked that I am actually admitting there is time, particularly, ronalum, drbrain, caballero, and cloudancer. :) What can I say? I am a girl on the move, as far as I am concerned there is never enough time for anything, everything has a schedule, everything has a plan, and everything has a strategical plan, and about 5 back-up plans for "just in case". I know, I can be completely neurotic sometimes, or perhaps slightly obsessive with planning *looks away abashed* I can't help it. hehe...I like things to be perfect, this is where I think the A-type personality tends to creep in :D Yeah, well what can I say? Anyway, I have a presentation to give in about 30 minutes, I need to practice my speech :)

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
gopherbabe
Oct. 29th, 2003 08:45 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness girl you sound so much like me when you talk about time and how there isn't enough time out there for everything to happen and that you have a plan for everything..thats me totally!!! *hugs*
ronalum
Oct. 30th, 2003 09:37 am (UTC)
Not surprised or shocked at all, kaleidescope Natalie. You need to shower more often!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )