What would I be like if I always followed the straight and narrow? Would I really be better off? I just don’t see myself in the life where I get married, have kids, have a house with white picket fence, and going to church on Sundays. One, I. am not religious…2. I just want something more than that. I am seeking…something. I just don’t know what it is really.
I wish I knew why I have these urges to run sometimes. At least 2 times a year I just want to run away…from everything…from who I am…from where I am…perhaps to find someone I CAN become. I envy those who are happy with little…not little as in they have no jobs or anything. But there are people out there who don’t have the same hunger as I for living…they are content with their life now, some even find their life to be exciting, whereas I, find their lives rather dull. I am not saying I dislike myself, or I hate my life, because I love who I am…there is just something seriously missing, I just wish I knew what it was. It is actually quite maddening.
I also wonder…can anyone keep up with me? I doubt most men or anyone wants to live the way I wish to…oh well…back to the paper on Social Engineering…
- Current Mood:
pensive