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More of me?

As usual, my humor/innocence got me into a situation tonight. Apparently, I mess around too much. I never thought of that as a problem, because I am a happy person. Perhaps I should quit laughing so much...the one who I thought knew me best doesn't know me at all.

I admit that I have a very carefree attitude, but that doesn't make me stupid, nor does it suggest that I am unable to empathize. I suppose some people can look at me and assume that I have no problems or cares in the world, but together class, what does assuming do? That's right, it makes an ass of u and me...

Though I am a happy person I have always prided myself on the ability to reason and be logical in times of need/desparation/whatever...yes I am the youngest, no my parents aren't divorced, yes my parents are well off, yes I am spoiled, however I would like to add, I work for most of what I have, I work for most of what I have personally achieved...I give back to my community, not as much as I would like, but I do what I can, and I must say that is more than what most people who are either better off or worst off could admit to. However, it's not a competition, I help people because I want to, and I love to make people happy and not because of some weird twisted guilt for being better off. I have also always thought of myself as easy to talk to, confide in...etc...however, I suppose my carefree and cheerful attitude implies otherwise. Some people probably look at me and feel that I cannot be trusted...that hurts. I love helping people understand more about a problem, I love helping them realize there are different solutions to problems, because I view things differently than most.

I have said this before, and I will say it again, there is so much more to me than what people see...I question why people have problems seeing below the surface, ignorance, or short-sightedness, or perhaps shallowness?

Perhaps I am too stand-offish...I have come to realize that no one really knows me, nor do they truly understand who I am...I hope that when I fall in love with someone, that the person truly, truly understands me.

Comments

ronalum
May. 9th, 2003 03:06 pm (UTC)
Picture me as just being a good listner today (listening to you today
Wow! looking at the time you posted this, you must have been upset. What can I say that does not sound trite? I am sorry it happend to you? Well, I am!

As one who also has a sense of humor, I view it as a priceless asset, and will probably write about it in my journal today. In my search for journal ideas, among yours and others, I did read just about everything you have posted including what I think is called memories and the Relationship Guru Journal. Stand-offish is definitely not a description I would use to define you.

You may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet the kind of guy you want, and I might add, deserve. In the meantime keep in mind something someone we both know and like said: "Life is so uncertain, perhaps that is the beauty of it!"
natalie516
May. 9th, 2003 04:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Picture me as just being a good listner today (listening to you today
Life is so uncertain, perhaps that is the beauty of it

Umm...did I say that? I was smoking crack...lol...ok no not really...
natalie516
May. 9th, 2003 04:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Picture me as just being a good listner today (listening to you today
Really?? You don't think I am stand-offish...I can't believe you read my whole journal...wow....

lol...so have I! ;) Your journal that is, hmm...as for being stand-offish, I meant people don't seem to really understand me...so I was wondering if it is me or them
natalie516
May. 9th, 2003 04:16 pm (UTC)
One more thing...
Are you able to see my "friend's only" posts? they are the ones with the little padlock