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Reflection on Relationships

Ahh...now here's a topic that has been thrown out, torn, punched, and beaten to a pulp...and here it is again. Let me start out by saying there are very few people on LJ that I have spoken to or have bothered to get to know, in fact I can count that number on one hand. Those are the few people that sparked my interested that made me want to put in the effort to get to know them, to really know them. These are people that I would love to have as friends in real life and not just here, but be able to hang out with them...some even date. One person in particular, whom I have always found to be quite intriguing...is neteng, aka Jamez. I believe we acquainted in the sextips community...anyhow, he wrote a very interesting entry on the 22nd of this month. It was about the topic I am currently going to cover.

There has always been a debate about whether or not a person expects too much, whether they should, and...is it really fair? In all honesty, who the hell is perfect (other than me, but I'm an exception ;))? No one, that's who...and as caballero would say, "If you were perfect you'd be God". lol...but then again...there are those, such as, ikilled007 who feel they are...hahahahaha...(sorry Buffers, had to mention it) As Jamez states,

"Relationships for the most part are disappointing...in a lot of ways, dating is the same...it's the roulette wheel and you're the action figure playing until your fingers bleed and your drooling at the mouth to win the six-figure price"

Now there is the honest truth...the romance, the love for the first few months to me is always fun and exciting...as is the sex. I am not saying everyone feels ways this way, but I am sure a select few do. After awhile...you get tired of the person...you get tired because they no longer hold any interest to you, or maybe you get tired because you see the flaws and just cannot, and refuse to see past them all. Now flaws...there is something interesting...what do some people see as flaws? Physical? Emotional? Intellectual? And in all fairness...how should they really be rated? Is it fair to just not date someone because they have a limp? How about if they are too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny? How about if they are blind, deaf? lol...those are physical traits that some people are bothered by, and I know this is going to sound like something a mother would say, but, "What about who they are as a person? Do all the physical traits really mean more than that?" A bold, honest, and quite forthright question. What about the intellect, can they even hold it there? Do they make you laugh? Or maybe they make you smile at the most unexpected times in your life...

My flaws you say? :) Let's see...Joe says, "you are too demanding" I reply with, "That may be so, but you know what? I wouldn't want so much and succeed as much as I have if I weren't. I wouldn't expect so much out of myself." I manage to turn my flaws around, there is very little one person could say about me that would kill me. Now of course...I am also slightly arrogant, but I think that's healthy. :)

Back to the debate, is it fair to expect to find someone who you deem perfect for you?? Some would say, "No, quit looking for flaws, look past them all, and accept a person for who they are, just have fun in the relationship." And sure, that works if you don't really want anything meaningful with that person. And then...there are people like me...as I said before...no one is perfect, everyone has flaws, but I feel that there are things about a person that people may see as flaws, and I may see as perfection. For example, one may see a person who is controlling to be flawed...I see it as a very admirable trait, very few have it and handle it well. There are those who go overboard with the control factor...and that of course would be too much. However, in terms of expecting there to be someone who is perfect for you...I say, "Hell yeah!!! Why settle for anything less than what you would expect from yourself? You should find someone who meets your needs completely, intellectually, sexually, emotionally, you should have it all"

I need someone who is challenging...who is my equal...not someone who is over-bearing, but at the same time, not a doormat. Someone who can pamper when I am sick (because I am such a huge baby when I am...lol) and of course doesn't mind if I pamper them with food and massages :)

*takes a step back* Ok...I am seriously all over the damn board with this entry so far, time to get to the damn point. So I said, "You should find someone who meets your needs completely, intellectually, sexually, emotionally, you should have it all", now I'm sure as many of you know that is fucking hard. Do you know what you want? I mean in all honesty, do you really know what you want out of a relationship? I do, but I fear I have the same problem as Jamez...I am too difficult to understand. When people think they have me figured out and think I'm gonna zig...I zag...or flip, or turn or dance...or whatever, you get my point.

There is something though that I did want to comment about...Jamez made a very great comparison of relationship to soap. He said that a relationship is like a special kind of soap, and it is difficult to find in any store. You call around, you look around, and nothing, you still can't find it. So what do you do? Give up? NO absolutely not. You keep on shopping until you find that special soap that you need. Grant it...people are easy to find...men are easy to find...women are easy to find, it is that special person that you KNOW is "the one" that is HARD to find. *sigh* I'm preaching to a damn choir here...you all know what I mean. There is always something wrong...you like them, they don't like you, they like you, you don't like them. And the world keeps on turning. You know...now that I think of it...staying happy, cheerful, and encouraging gets tiresome...I need a break...right now...I'm just depressed and bored. I know this is a sucky way to end an entry...but I just realized how much this sucks...lol...I do promise one thing...when I come up with a solution...I will post it... :(


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 26th, 2003 08:39 pm (UTC)
Actually, I've been thinking about this very topic a lot recently. I was going to write an entry about that very thing tonight.

Is it too much to expect to find someone who is "perfect" for you? Well, I think it is. If there's someone out there that is perfect for me that must mean that I am also perfect for them and I find that hard to believe.

I am far from perfect. I know that and so I just hope to find someone that will accept me for what I am. I'm not looking for perfection, I'm looking for comfort and for love (whatever that means, hopefully I'll know it when/if I find it).

I guess I just want to find someone that will put up with all my bullshit while I put up with all their bullshit and somewhere in the middle we'll trip and end up in a meaningful relationship.
May. 26th, 2003 09:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, and PS:

The layout for sextips, yeah, I made it. :)
May. 26th, 2003 10:34 pm (UTC)
Is it too much to expect to find someone who is "perfect" for you? Well, I think it is. If there's someone out there that is perfect for me that must mean that I am also perfect for them and I find that hard to believe

My argument was never that I was perfect, or there was someone who is perfect. I can't believe I am saying this particularly in the mood that I am in...but have a little more faith. I don't know, perhaps that is one of my personality flaws...I just have this feeling that there is more to to just meeting someone and hoping they put up with your bull shit and hoping you can put up with theirs. That sounds like too much...well...pain. I just feel there has to be someone that is perfect for me...for example, let's say we are perfect for one another, I would never expect my friends to see you as perfect for them, because that's silly. :)
May. 26th, 2003 10:06 pm (UTC)
As for expectations and demands... if you aim for the stars, you may reach the sky, but if you aim as high as a shrub, you'll reach it, and be disappointed :)
May. 27th, 2003 09:07 am (UTC)
lol...I like that!
May. 27th, 2003 04:42 pm (UTC)
:) Thta's something my dad told me when I was just a little tyke... it's some hindu philosophy or something.. heh :)
May. 27th, 2003 01:38 pm (UTC)
Princess Natalie needs: Not someone she can follow, Not someone she can lead, but someone whom she can walk through life with, side by side!
May. 27th, 2003 10:03 pm (UTC)
Princess Natalie needs: Not someone she can follow, Not someone she can
Princess Natalie,
I've allways tried to treat as my princess. And I hope you will see though any falts of mine and see me for who I really am. I know now how you feel, but if your heart wants you to search for some one else then you should. Don't let me stop you from finding your great love, because up till now I though it was me. I will all ways love you, and I hope you find same one that makes you as happy as you have made me these past 8 months. Forever yours.
May. 29th, 2003 03:26 pm (UTC)
Everyone has flaws and strengths. The people you get along with best are those who's flaws truely don't bother you and who's strengths you find irristable.
I think its possible to find the perfect person because of that. If you find them though hang on...
I became friends with that person for me (I was young and to scared of losing her by asking about a relationship) and we will be friends for ever, but I've never meet someone like since.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )