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Failing to achieve

the skill of objectivity. There are times in my life that I feel that I am the most logical woman I know...then there are other times when I just let my emotions get the best of me. I fail to see people for who they truly are. The question I ask myself is why? Am I really too nice? Or am I still so naïve as to believe that people are good and do not want to harm other deep down. I believe it is the latter. I had promised myself more than once that I would not become a bitter person, paranoid, or feel that people cannot be trusted. I wonder though, if I were to be more like that, wouldn't I be hurt less? Wouldn't it be possible that I could be happier...though I question how happy I would be with myself for becoming one who is bitter or paranoid. I currently feel bad for people who are like that because they do not let as much joy or happiness in to touch them. I fear becoming my mother, don't get me wrong, I love her more than anything and it kills me when she is hurt...but my mom is not truly, deeply, happy. haha...the irony? Neither am I...well...*thinks it over* actually...I suppose there is no irony because deep down I really am truly and deeply happy. I love who I am now, I just hate it that I am unable to prevent myself from getting hurt...hahahahahaha though I am sure if I knew how to do that I could be a millionaire. :)

Anyway, more later perhaps, I am going to do some dishes. :)

Comments

futurejudge
Aug. 17th, 2003 08:45 am (UTC)
*hugs*

Just know that you have friends who support you.

You sound like you could use a sounding board. Coffee soon?
natalie516
Aug. 17th, 2003 11:12 am (UTC)
Know of any good Italian restaurant? I am craving Italian food...
futurejudge
Aug. 17th, 2003 12:13 pm (UTC)
Carlos... Brighton Ave.

As good as anything I've had in the North End.
natalie516
Aug. 17th, 2003 07:45 pm (UTC)
Ugh, yeah, it would help if I could find it. I even parked my car at Harvard and Brighton...didn't see it...uh...so I gave up and went to this Thai place :D

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