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Reflections of the past...

It is funny when one stops to think of their life now versus what it was before.

A question I ask myself is, "when did I know that I had met my soul-mate?" and there are those who do not believe in soul-mates, and that is respectable for them. I on the other hand have always believed in an undying love. Where two people do not need materialistic things, where money doesn't NEED to be there to keep the relationship sustained. When I hear the words "I love you" from Kalen, I want it to be a promise he can't take back.

There are a few people who feel that me dating Kalen will pull me down. And I don't understand what they mean by that, and I still don't. I love Kalen more than life itself, I love him more than anything. He means the absolute world to me...I would die for this man. The way I feel is almost indescribable...there isn't enough time for me to love him, there aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe how I feel for him, and there isn't enough of myself that I could ever give him...

I knew that he was the man the minute I slipped my hand into his hand on December 12, 1998. The first movie we saw together was "The WaterBoy". The first time we made love was December 19, 1998...

The first kiss after so long was shared April 4, 2001...the first feeling of togetherness was shared April 6, 2001...the first I love you was whispered May 4, 2001...the first proposal of marriage was made September 16, 2001 at 1:47AM.

I look at myself now and wonder how I could have ever been the way I was without him...I love myself a lot more now than I did before Kalen. I love who I am, the person I have become. The fact that I am not as selfish as I used to be. The fact that I am not as superficial or needy as I used to be. The ability I have to sacrifice myself for another...and simply the fact that I know how to truly love someone with all my heart and soul.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
janedoe
Jul. 5th, 2002 09:28 pm (UTC)
I feel the same way. I often wonder how I would be if I had never had Matt come into my life. He has opened my mind to new things, he has made me more sexually aware of my body. Sometimes I sit back and just think about how stupid, nieve, and close minded I was before I met him. I guess some men just have a way of opening womens eyes.
xcata
Jul. 6th, 2002 01:18 am (UTC)
yes and yes
warning: first post on here hehe, I've been running around journals for an hour and a half looking for something to reply to, but I like what you're saying here Natalie, and Tabitha. (and my birthday is also 5-16, so I had to say somethin)

So I wanted to back up what you're saying Natalie because I've had a similar experience (in ways). Most of the last 10 months I lived out of the country, and so really didn't have any money. Neither did my girlfriend, but we payed the travel fees to each other, we still had the phone, these computers, we still had everything that a couple needs, and that's just each other. People a lot times say that like "they can see things you're blind to" and that they don't think whoever is the best for you, but you know, they're just as blind to what you can see.

I've done that riddle before too =D took me at least a few hours and I think I got a hint =D

I dunno if I'm posting too much, so I'm just gonna go write in my journal on this topic =D Thanks for letting me post my first post! hehe
natalie516
Jul. 6th, 2002 10:36 am (UTC)
Re: yes and yes
hehe...not a problem! I love meeting new people. Feel free to post as much as you want in my journal. I will add you to my friends list :)
natalie516
Jul. 6th, 2003 03:15 am (UTC)
Note to self...what the fuck was I thinking... *sigh*
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )