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My desires...

Funny...I read neteng entry yesterday entitled, "My Dreams" and it seriously got me thinking. What do I really want? What are my dreams?

Being as young as I am there are so many things that I have yet to experience, yet to learn. My desires from life is to be happy. Who doesn't want to be happy? I question though, to what extent is feasible for one to gain their own happiness? What should be and can be forsake to gain that happiness? What is more important than one's own happiness? Is there something that is greater than one's own happiness? Is love more important, more meaningful than one's happiness?

Of course career wise, I want to be successful, you know, "Be All that You Can Be". Hopefully the economy will shape up, because I know where I would like to work and unfortunately, they are having problems and are not hiring. I have decided to be a Business Systems Analyst and would love to find a job that offers somewhat extensive training in that field. Not only do Business Systems Analyst make good money, but I also enjoy doing things in that line of work. My major is Computer Science, and I have enough IT knowledge to back up the Systems part, and I feel like I have enough interpersonal skills and communication skills to back up the Business aspect of the job. I love interacting with people, meeting different people, and being able to take something with me when I meet new people.

In my love life...I am in love with someone more than anything. However, I want to take a step back and think about what I really want out of a relationship.

I have come to realize that one can fall in love with numerous people, however, deep in my heart I feel that there is really and truly one person for me, in essence I believe in a soul-mate.

I suppose one can label this as an "ideal man", I hesitate to say perfect, because no one is perfect and if I were to expect perfection out of anyone it should be me. Otherwise, I lose credibility on putting pressure as such on another. Also, I feel that expecting perfection is unrealistic...

He is sweet, caring, gentle, kind, with an incredibly warm heart. I don't want him to be a girl or anything, someone who is man enough to show his emotions, determined, goal-oriented. Wants more from life than what he has, who doesn't want to settle for less than what he is worth.

One who is not obsessive with me and the relationship...one who is not jealous when another man calls...(as I have many male friends). When married, I want to maintain the romance, I don't want to marry for protection or loneliness...but for true love. A love never ending, a promise you can never take back. One where it means something when you say the words, "I do", pledging yourself and your heart to that one person...

He must be my best friend, one I am able to talk to whenever I need. I want to always feel comfortable talking to him no matter what the situation. He is a safe place I can go when I feel as though the world is stacked against me...I want to be his safe place as well. I want there to be never-ending conversation. We don't have to talk all the time, but I don't want the discovery of one another to end. I don't ever want to hit the stage of "comfortable". I want to maintain the absolute trust and respect from which the love was built.

This might sound horrible, but I want someone who's sex drive is equal to mine...where the sharing of heart and body are not that far apart...

Looking back...perhaps that is asking for too much...or expecting too much...there is always a compromise...but there has to be the ability in both of us to meet in the middle. Money is not all that important to me, nor is jewelry...it is nice, but not as important as the feeling of absolute passion and adoration for another...

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