♥Natalie♥ (natalie516) wrote,

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The problem with being a multi-tasker is, unfortunately, when you are feeling distracted through being ill as well as being incredibly tired it is very difficult to keep one's thoughts in order. I am sorry to say that my mind, feelings, and thoughts are rather jumbled. I am thinking of something, but then my head totally sidetracks and thinks of another. Now this is fairly normal for me, except I usually have more control over it.

First off...it is 0 degrees farenheit, feels like -10...haha...funny I am not complaining isn't it? I hate being cold...and I hate being hot...*shrug* it almost makes me long for temperate Seattle. However, because I have free heat and I'm usually in a building or in a T, this weather does not bother me too much :) To be honest, I kind of like it! It is definitely different and perhaps the excitement of it all is because this is my first winter here in Boston. I have not had to deal with this weather since I was 9 when I lived in Korea. :)

What else? Still in the same job... :/ I am going to miss everyone, but hopefully this will be my last week. I really want to work in another department and not because I hate mine, mine totally rocks. It is really fun schmoozing with VP's, Sr. VP's, and Chief Officers...but I am really looking forward to a change in scenery.

Next thought...it is funny how things in life just seem to work out isn't it? I remember when something bad would happen and I would think of it as such a horrible thing, but as time goes on (whether that time is a week, a few months, to a year) I can see that those things I thought were "issues" no longer are. In fact, it was probably the best, worst thing to happen to me! I have been in a rather contemplative, yet irritable mood of late.

Contemplative because I have so much going on in my life at this moment that in many ways I see so much as a blessing and in others it is hard to really take it all in and accept. Not because accepting the changes or events in my life are negative, on the contrary they are all rather positive...some of it just feels too good to be true. In regards to my 4 year plan when I was in college...I am doing a great deal better than I could have ever hoped or planned for. As I had mentioned once in a past entry, there is so much going for me this year. It is hard for me to believe that this is where I am now. I would never have thought of myself here at this state or being a year ago. A year ago, I just could not wait to hurry up and get the hell out of school...lol...to be honest? I do not even remember my winter quarter classes...umm...I think Java might have been one...lol...and of course Senior Synthesis...errr...I think...maybe some cyber legal type class? *shrug* Point being, I feel that in such a short period of time I have come very far in my 22.5 years of life (short as it may be). Perhaps one of the biggest reasons I am so contemplative, is because I do not want to take any of this for granted. For once in my life...I want to relax and enjoy myself. And it is not that I felt I never could in the past...it is just I was wound up a lot tighter when I was in Middle School, High School, and most of College...

lol...that almost sounds funny...I am not talking of going on a drug rampage, just because I do not believe in putting crap like that into my body (I think the polluted air is bad enough). Nor am I implicating I did not have fun those 16 years of schooling, I had a blast, it is just now...I am looking forward to a new kind of adventure I guess. One that involves a great deal of doing things I want to do, skiing (which I do not know how to do), ice skating (I have been once), et cetera. Of course, many of my adventures require money, which unfortunately will have to hold off until I get more settled with this whole condo thing. I have been learning a great deal about mortgages, interest rates, principal, et cetera, et cetera...at first I was worried, but now? I can do this. I know I can, I just have to have more faith in myself. This will sound odd...but this feels like so much financial responsibility for one of my age. Then again, I never was at the same maturity level as those my age...

I did my bills today and surprisingly...I was not concerned. For the first time in my life...lol...I was actually ok. :/

As for the irritated part...since I am in a good mood now I do not really want to get into this, but I will leave this as the thought...people my age or slightly older who lack the maturity and intelligence of such age and withdraw to the pre-mature and/or adolescent Middle School or High Schools stages of life irritate the shit out of me. It is just so terribly disappointing to discover that people older than me are less mature than me...that however, might be left for another entry all together.

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