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Definition of Devotion

Definition of devotion...to be honest, caring, loving, supportive, understanding, forgiving, to have initiative, to be able to show one's true self...anything else?

Hehe...I have decided one thing about myself...whoever is with me will be the happiest man in the world! Lol...

If someone were to ask me what it is I have learned that I feel is important is how I treat my man. I try my damnedest to be romantic by writing love letters, poems, giving him little surprises sexually and non-sexually. :) I am really happy...I guess dating Kalen I didn't feel very appreciated. All the extra things I did for him he never thanked me...nor did he return it. Maybe I was just giving too much, but the thing is, I don't mind giving.

I just hope my experience with him hasn't made me more bitter. I am still in love with him...but maybe it just isn't enough.

Anyway, to the matter at hand, I have decided what I want for myself and I know that I want to be the most loving person that my boyfriend has ever known. And the most devoted. I wonder when forgiving is too forgiving? I kind of question if Kalen were to call me and apologize if I would. Before I would have said of course, now I just don't know. Looking at the picture of us, my heart aches still. It just isn't breaking like it used to. (shrug) Not sure if that is good or bad. Maybe I am just distancing myself...and maybe that is what I have to do.

I wonder if the next man I date will see that in me? Will he see that I am a good person, or will he just see me as a fuck toy? Or will he just see me as someone who is willing to give him anything he wants?

It is really sad when people feel the need to take advantage of others. Particularly when the person who is being taken advantaged of is only trying to be the best person he/she can be.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 10th, 2002 08:26 pm (UTC)
Its nice to hear that people share a similar outlook on relationships as I do. I have just left a relationship and had the exact same arguments with myself. Kudos to you for surviving.
Jul. 10th, 2002 10:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks... :) It is nice to know I am not the only one...
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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