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A reminder to myself

I have always felt that my personality was never changing. Whenever I would speak with someone that I had spoken with for a few years, they always say, "Natalie, you haven't changed." At first it did not bother me, now...it's a different story. The past few weeks have been incredibly hectic. I have begun to learn more about who I am as a person and what I do not like about myself. I am slowly attempting to change the things that I do not like about myself. I also learned yesterday that if I am going to do something, I have to give it my all or it is really not worth doing. Life is not going to slow down or stop for me. I have to give 110% to my work, to my school, and more importantly to my family, friends, and of course my boyfriend, Kalen.

I also question my growth. I am not worried about growing out of my friends, because that happens. I am worried that I will grow without Kalen. I am also beginning to realize that though a person is liable to grow everyday, or every hour, it is important that two people who are in love maintain their growth together. To stay on the same level of communication and feelings towards one another.

I am afraid I suppose. There are so many things going on in my head right now and it all feels like it is happening too fast. I am slowly beginning to learn what I really want with my life and what is really good for me.

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April 2011
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