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Food and Stuff...

The strangest thing has been happening with my relationship with food...don't get me wrong...I love food...I love cooking, not that I've had an opportunity to in a bit because of the schedule I've been keeping, but...for some reason I'm just not interested in consuming it. They say that if you have an aversion to food you should eat something savory...but I'm just not interested in eating at all...it's odd...I'm hungry...I just not interested in eating. *shrug* I don't quite understand it myself.

I'm really looking forward to September! :-D I will be starting Ballet, Hip Hop, and Contemporary! I'm just hoping I'll still manage to fit in Yoga and Tracy Anderson workouts...I have realized that I am not doing enough cardio though. I'd like to start running again...I wonder where I can squeeze that in? I have a feeling that my sleeping will be gradually worse than what it normally is, if that's even possible...lol...I will admit that last night I was totally fried...I think I actually slept 8 hours last night. I fell asleep around 11:45ish...and woke up around 7:30ish today...it's quite amazing. I do feel horribly antsy right now though. I feel like I have too much energy...which of course means my level of focus is even less than normal.

For some reason I'm feeling exceptionally happy today. Not sure why...I just woke up really happy and excited for the day...no...not just the day, but the week. My week is pretty busy...my mind is so odd. I just thought to myself if people have to think about being a good person...lol...

One of the ideas that just popped into my head...and mainly because I was thinking of how I could be a better person...is having a life with balance. James Patterson made the observation, "Life is a game where you are juggling 5 balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. You are keeping them all in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The
other 4 balls family, health, friends, and integrity are made of glass. If you drop one of these it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered, And once you truly understand the lesson of the 5 balls you will have the beginnings of balance in your life."

I wonder at what level of maturity my mind would need to be at for me to say something so eloquently and deep?

Balance is a hard thing to achieve...I will be the first to tell you that my life is not the most balanced...I do try, but let's be honest...some of those other balls are just more fun! Though...I suppose one ball I'd like to work on is having more integrity...I wonder if integrity is one of those things that having too much of would be bad? When someone tells me, "Oh that person has integrity" it makes me smirk a little...on the inside of course...What does that mean? As with all words, integrity was assigned a meaning...this is one of those words that, to me, is subjective. What does the word integrity bring to mind when you think of it when applied to an individual? I suppose to many it may bring about an image of one who is honest, has sound moral character...but even with that image, or thought in mind...what is morality? Again...another word (yes, yes like all words), that to me has been assigned a subjective meaning. Don't misunderstand, I know that meanings of words must start somewhere. There had to have been an agreement on the word for the meaning for the word to "exist".

You know...thinking about this more deeply...why is it important to have integrity? Why is it important to be moral? Would the world really be very unpleasant if those things were lacking? Do they already lack? Is it only unpleasant because we were told, socially, that it would be? lol...when I get on a roll with questions like this it reminds me of when I was little and asking so many questions, albeit, my questions were much simpler...but even writing them down, I feel that I'm being slightly obnoxious...though, I suppose this is why I don't really voice these types of questions to other individuals...who would I be able to speak to that I would be able to have a rousing conversation with? Not an argument mind you...just more of a melding of the minds...what is it about society and how it operates that just gets me behaving like a child with my questions? ...I suppose to some of the more "serious" individuals my questions are trivial and silly...after all...shouldn't I just be accepting of the world and how it works? After all...my questions are insignificant to greater problems of the world...right? ...hehe...what fun would that be? My inquisitive self is one I appreciate the most.

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April 2011
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